Why is my sabzi-wala losing his shit over trump’s victory !?

Now that America is in the orange of health , things seem to be going fine for them.
Only for ‘them’ , however, because while they await new adventures with their new Ali Baba for the coming four years , people in India are already busy prying into the Americans . That is actually what we’re all about.

People who can’t tell the difference between  North America and Latin America, people to whom American is Greek (and Greek is no language) and America is Timbuktu, people who, before the elections didn’t even know who trump was,,,, yeah right…in short – people somewhat like me , are losing their shit over trump’s victory , and losing it very badly (I’m not).

Social walls being flooded with memes on Trump , not a single one of them supports him.
Now  obviously , Americans wouldn’t be bothering it so much because they themselves voted him to victory . They showed faith in him (and no one knows why) .
Indians are so much upset with Trump winning the elections , they react as if he won the elections in Delhi! . They are so much upset, they don’t want to talk about it anymore (because they hardly know anything).

My pet dog hasn’t eaten anything for the last one and a half day.
My ‘pussy’ cat, when I ‘grabbed’ her from the sofa , she in return scratched my face so bad we could solve a crossword puzzle on it.
I clicked on ‘shut down’ and my computer  retorted –  ‘work you haven’t saved’ might turn into ‘work you couldn’t save’.

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We have seen people scarier . Scary enough to scare the shit out of you. go figure. Just in case if you’ve heard of Jacob Zuma and Kim Jong Un.

‘Then why of all BAMFs , only HIM!?’ , is the question that keeps bothering me.
So in a nutshell , people who have abso-f*ckin-lutely nothing to with it are acting more concerned than the ones who actually have something to do with it.

This really has something to do with our  origin. When homo-sapiens set their foot on the rose-apple continent of ‘jambudweep’ or what we call the Indian subcontinent , they developed a trait of sticking their noses into the matters of others, and since then, it has become a characteristic feature of ours.
Given that, we should be worshiping Pinnochio by now.

As goes the joke-
power cut in America : call the electrician.
power cut in China : no prob! turn on the alternate power source.
power cut in Japan : FUCK IT!  invent a new damn bulb!
In India : lift the curtain and check the neighbour out. wow!

Also , is India the only place where you can cast a vote by a miss call !??

Moreover, Mr Trump is being projected as if he is an incarnation of satan. why ?
Donalds have always been so nice. Take Donald duck for instance.
When there’s no more to recite on him , enter Mr Modi!
Up until now, Trump was just another random scumbag in the wall. Fair enough. But no sooner that he wins the elections , he seems to appear a ‘dirty piece of shit’ scumbag in the wall , and all that just because people showed faith in him and not on the one whom you had faith in . Isn’t that a kind of intolerance now ?
Sounds like you’re saying – ” Fena hee lena ! ”

Is that what he gets after winning an election ? This is what we call judging a book by its cover . Judging him with the stigma of him being ‘Donald Trump’ and not a president, what we’re actually conveying is – “ for fuck’s sake Trump, don’t upset the apple cart , we’re too happy upbraiding you like the nitpickers we are.”

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Lately, there’s one chap who’s been drawing my attention. He seems to be the worst affected by this apocalypse . He’s my sabzi-wala , the vegetable vendor.
Now, no one knows why or how this should concern him but this guy in going effing crazy over the elections. However, he has no idea which party Trump represents , and most probably deems Hillary as the first person who climbed Mt. Everest and isn’t even sure of the gender. Yet he holds back no punches when it comes to it and even when someone comes to buy even some grass , the pick up line is –

” sasura taramp kaahe jeet gaya ? “

(and it takes a great deal to talk him out of it and get your grass).
Why , in the name of god should he be worrying about him when he’s got business to take care of. Who has he been listening to? He doesn’t seem to have any relatives in America. Neither does he appear to have funded Hillary for the elections and he, as of now, doesn’t seem to be really interested in going for the candidature.
Shouldn’t he be worrying about pleasing his wife ? if he has one .
or feeding their child ? if they have one .
or paying his school fee ? if he goes to one.

Shouldn’t the demonetization be bothering him more ?
shouldn’t he be more concerned with Mulayam or Maaya ? , because that is what affects him more. If I were him , I’d have been busy downloading paytm by now and giving home deliveries and facilitating ‘udhaari’ accounts and gathering ‘chutta’ around .
If not any of these , you’d then definitely find me at some queue at the ATM or bank. What sensible sabzi-wala , at such a time of frigging crisis , would care about ducks and donalds ?

Same goes for me too. I , if not a sabzi-wala , am ‘someortheotherthang’-wala ,hence better be concerned with my ‘someortheotherthang’ , and if at all , I wish to sound like a political connoisseur , then it’ll over something which matters to me or at least which I’ve sound knowledge of.

Moral of the story :
Instead of saying “fena hee lena ! ,  better say – “jab ghar mein pada hai sona, fir kaahe ko rona”
and OMG I DOZED OFF THRICE WHILE WRITING IT.

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Btw , what’s all this buzz about Sonam Gupta ? who the hell is she ?

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and this is how I decided to find out 😛
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photo: Mad Mughal Memes
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