‘Awww’-inspiring : the new awe-inspiring

The other day, I bought a chocolate for my (imaginary , hypothetical) girlfriend ,and as soon as I offered it to her to gobble it up like the retard she is , she….overwhelmed by the cute effort , went …”awwwwwww”.

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and further, when I told her how I fought with a dog over it when he almost took a bite of it,  the length of the ‘ awwww ‘ further increased to ” awwwwwwww….my baby” .

and again, when I showed her the bullet marks on my back  I got while snatching the chocolate away from the  armed terrorists……….

this ‘awww’ thing has been around for like 5-6 years now (that is, as per my comprehension) and people still can’t get enough of it. this one trend is  slaying all of the rest.
of them, ‘gangnam’ , ‘pokemon-go’ and the latest ‘PPAP’ and a few others appeared as if they were going to be something but ended up being nothing of that sort. (pokemon-go , in this case turned out to be a total premature ejaculation) . but this thing , I tell you , is promising.
possibly because this is a girly habit/trend and they never get bored with anything whatsoever. They can actually sit for months in a lawn enjoying the immense thrill of watching  grass grow !!! …..literally!

once my friend(boy) , not boyfriend , friend(boy) texted me ‘awwww’
………            ……………   ??? ……………           ……….
*blocked*
straight away
…..till date!

then one day, I saw a grown-up , middle-aged lady say  “awww…mela bachcha”,and naturally, I thought wow… cute. it would have been normal had he really been a ‘bachcha’, because he,… was her rickshaw-puller husband. -_-

I came back home that day, drank a whole bottle of poison , digested it, took the nutrients into my cells , generated Adenosine Triphosphate(ATP) in the mitochondria , nourished my body , and disposed the leftovers.
won’t you say ‘awww’ now?? say it!!!!?
(pardon me for that though. I know you wouldn’t have planned on that being about science …sigh).

Then I tried the same thing with my mother and grandmother , giving them both a chocolate to eat. Mummy told me she couldn’t as she was on a fast (without any awwws). Then I gave it to my daadi and while I was expecting an awww , she just shove me aside with the explanation –
“jab teri maa ne vrat rakha hai to mai kaise na rakhu ?? ”   .
Daadi leads a thug life whatsoever.Even at this age she never held a stick or any sort of support.

So, I settled with the conclusion that it has little to do with gender , rather it is more about age.
Actually , it has been instilled into us in our fundamental upbringing. We have been learning it since when we were little kids studying in pre-school. Take a moment and recall the first thing we learnt in school as kids.-

‘awww….se anaar’

So where now , do you think lies the reason…. HECK YES!!
The awww comes in different flavours , some of which are awww..mela baby! , babu! , bachcha! ,awww…sachchi?? and awww..mela puppy !
wait.
Shit just go real. What in the actual fuck do you think you are doing when you say “awww….my puppy”, shrinking your lips to give out a pout and in the attempt making it look like a rotten Rafflesia pee’d over by medusa’s snakes and in the attempt pooped over too.
Is that cute? do I appear to you, a butthole sniffing animal ?
even better…what if I call you “awww…my little bitch!”
whoa! that was rude!! (but didn’t I just change the gender?).
The language made it look rude.

Shakti kapoor, then is unmatchably blessed for that matter. Dhanya hain wo ! aaaaaooowwww!

Nevertheless, I decided to change with the changing time. I now watch romantic movies and grunt ‘awww’ all along. My dog doesn’t bark anymore (he never did , actually), he just awwws.On receiving a present I don’t scream “OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH!OHMYFUCKINGOD!”
I simply awww (paired with ‘so sweet’ , ‘so f*ckincute’ and a pout or two).

you’d think that’s enough now…but NO!!
all the more, I no more yawn , I awwwn . 😀 now I’m done.

If Darwin’s theory of evolution holds true, then before dying, I’ll be able to see my grandchildren with lips as large as a duck and permanently in a round shape like they’re in position to give a blowjob to a 100% beef thermometer.

Imagine children in a school answering the roll call with an awww!

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